It's the last Thursday in November, and FDR decided it would be this day that we would all sit and have a good think on what we're thankful for. First, obligatory comment that we really need to divorce this holiday from anything to do with native peoples and their relations with European settlers because we have done them a huge disservice in our depictions of it. I'm all in favor of a day designated to giving thanks/being with loved ones/eating like a trucker, but if we could leave the pilgrims and Indians out of it, I think it would be for the better.
Anyways. onto: a Brief List of Things for Which I am Thankful.
1. My family (an obvious first choice). Not just my dad, but my aunt Nora as well, and my Uncle Michael and Aunt Laurie, and all my father's brothers and sisters, my cousins, and the extended family (Aunt Sharon and Uncle Charlie especially).
2. My friends. My roommates, Bryan and Alex. My sweet Lydia. Everyone who has ever or will ever play HvZ.
3. My boyfriend/best friend/beard, John.
4. Both of my jobs. I may complain about my landscaping gig, but it pays the bills, and at the end of the day, my boss is a fair man who is genuinely interested in my professional growth. As for Starbucks, it can be a headache, but I've never really enjoyed a group of people I work with so thoroughly that I look forward to working an 8 hour shift on a holiday.
5.Whatever force in the universe kept yesterday's snowwy mishap from being a real accident. I slid off the road doing 30 mph and managed to not only avoid smashing into the car that was already stuck in the ditch, but I hit a random pile of concrete that kept me from going all the way into the ditch. And I was right near KNC, so Mel came and got me out.
6. Mel and Anissa. For getting me out.
7. Hot beverages of all kinds.
8. Turkey.
9. Cats. I am always thankful for cats. Also seals.c
10. Harry Potter.
11. Every piece of art produced between 500 and 1500 C.E.
12. Brevity.
Now, time for Minecraft!
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Existential Crisis of the Week
So, this morning I woke up early, ate a healthy breakfast, put on my brand new not-denim skinny pants and favorite blouse and headed out to my first non-food service job interview. I really have no idea how it went.
I liked the look of the company, and the owner and his partner seemed like great, fun people. I would really like to work there, especially since the position would involve me improving a lot of skills I really value, like photography and advertising. The interview went well! They seemed impressed by my analysis skills, how articulate I was, how vibrant I seemed. But the owner also told me I would benefit from going on a lot of job interviews. They also critiqued my resume (which was so greatly appreciated!), but, what does any of that mean?
The unorthodox, casual atmosphere was great, but I'm left having no idea where I stand. So now I have to grapple with some pretty uncomfortable questions. Did I completely screw things up, and were they just being kind and constructive? Do I even have a shot at this job?
Adult life can be really uncertain. Sometimes, when I'm alone and doing the nothing I usually do when I'm alone, I find myself suddenly overwhelmed by the vast empty space that's going to be - that is- post-college life. Sure, I have vague plans to go to graduate school in the next few years, but I don't want to go if I'm not sure what I want to do, and sometimes it seems like I'll never be sure of what I want to do. I don't live on a semester plan anymore. There's no more racing to the finish line of each four month block of growth and learning and then having a month or three months to recoup.
I know the logical thing to do is to become self-motivated, but I'm always so hesitant. It's like driving to a place you've never been to before and you think it's in this direction, but you don't want to keep driving in that direction, because what if it's not there, and it's all the way back on some other road, some turn you missed on the way? What if I spend all this time doing one thing, when really I should be doing another? Did I waste my time?
There's a lot of thoughts out there that no time you spend developing a skill or talent is wasted, but with the way hiring works these days, I can't imagine that's true. I'd love to devote time to learning to play guitar (finally), but when I sit down to do it, I always find myself thinking, Shouldn't I be working on something more useful?
So, where do I find the balance, between doing what I want and what I love, and what I have to do in order to b successful?
And most importantly, how do I even figure out what I want to do? If I spend all this time making myself marketable and hire-able, how do I figure out what I love enough to pursue as a career? Was college really the last chance I would ever have to do that?
This is heavy stuff for a second post. It's all stuff I think every recently graduated twenty-something is going through, but it just gets so dense sometimes. I'm not really sure how to close this, so I'll just say I think it's all going to be okay, but for now, it sucks a little.
Unrelated note: It's 85 fuckin' degrees out, kids. You don't need a hot Pumpkin Spice Latte yet.
I liked the look of the company, and the owner and his partner seemed like great, fun people. I would really like to work there, especially since the position would involve me improving a lot of skills I really value, like photography and advertising. The interview went well! They seemed impressed by my analysis skills, how articulate I was, how vibrant I seemed. But the owner also told me I would benefit from going on a lot of job interviews. They also critiqued my resume (which was so greatly appreciated!), but, what does any of that mean?
The unorthodox, casual atmosphere was great, but I'm left having no idea where I stand. So now I have to grapple with some pretty uncomfortable questions. Did I completely screw things up, and were they just being kind and constructive? Do I even have a shot at this job?
Adult life can be really uncertain. Sometimes, when I'm alone and doing the nothing I usually do when I'm alone, I find myself suddenly overwhelmed by the vast empty space that's going to be - that is- post-college life. Sure, I have vague plans to go to graduate school in the next few years, but I don't want to go if I'm not sure what I want to do, and sometimes it seems like I'll never be sure of what I want to do. I don't live on a semester plan anymore. There's no more racing to the finish line of each four month block of growth and learning and then having a month or three months to recoup.
I know the logical thing to do is to become self-motivated, but I'm always so hesitant. It's like driving to a place you've never been to before and you think it's in this direction, but you don't want to keep driving in that direction, because what if it's not there, and it's all the way back on some other road, some turn you missed on the way? What if I spend all this time doing one thing, when really I should be doing another? Did I waste my time?
There's a lot of thoughts out there that no time you spend developing a skill or talent is wasted, but with the way hiring works these days, I can't imagine that's true. I'd love to devote time to learning to play guitar (finally), but when I sit down to do it, I always find myself thinking, Shouldn't I be working on something more useful?
So, where do I find the balance, between doing what I want and what I love, and what I have to do in order to b successful?
And most importantly, how do I even figure out what I want to do? If I spend all this time making myself marketable and hire-able, how do I figure out what I love enough to pursue as a career? Was college really the last chance I would ever have to do that?
This is heavy stuff for a second post. It's all stuff I think every recently graduated twenty-something is going through, but it just gets so dense sometimes. I'm not really sure how to close this, so I'll just say I think it's all going to be okay, but for now, it sucks a little.
Unrelated note: It's 85 fuckin' degrees out, kids. You don't need a hot Pumpkin Spice Latte yet.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
High and Dry
Why am I writing about this song? Why am I writing a blog post at all? Do I actually have anything to say? Even if I do, is it worth saying in an age where most of the blogosphere is populated entirely by other narcissistic, self-deprecating twenty-somethings hoping against hope that their voice is the voice of the generation, and using words like "blogosphere?" You know, I don't know.
I've been following a lot - a lot - of blogs on Blogger since I was a senior in high school, and I thought to myself, I should totes start a fashun blog during my freshman year at college, because it was the popular thing to do at the time and I like clothes. Thus, this particular account was brought into existence out of the sheer energy of the internet. Now that I'm a freshman in the Real World (a.k.a. I just graduated), I don't really think I want to do that anymore. I value fashion (I think clothing is an excellent form of self-expression!), but it seems like the fashun-blogger experience is more geared toward things like "haul videos" (which I enjoy and abhor in equal measure) and navel-gazing contemplation of things like creepers and tribal print crop tops (which I just abhor). This isn't to like, lampoon the whole personal style blog shtick. Some of those are still cool, and my reader is still mostly filled with those kinds of blogs (though a big chunk have migrated toward the "lifestyle" genre which baffles me entirely). I guess I just don't think I have the money to keep up with something like that. And I definitely don't need something else feeding my nasty materialistic streak (give. me. moar).
What this long paragraph has brought me to is the point where I tell you (you?!) that I recently reread the dozen or so posts I wrote back in 2010/2011 and, as with any of the hundreds of journals I kept sporadically throughout my youth, found them really interesting. So I suppose I'm writing this for Eleanor Four Years From Now to enjoy, and to remember that life back then (now?) wasn't as sunny and delightful as she thinks it is, but wasn't an embarrassing trainwreck either. I'm writing this so I have a way to look back on this, the Dawn of my Adulthood, that isn't another 1/4 filled notebook sitting in my bedroom in my hometown.
Essentially, at least I won't have to throw out or pack this blog up in a few years.
So, back to my point: I found out I actually really enjoy a song by Radiohead. I have downloaded The Bends in hopes I will find that I do, actually like, a couple other songs by them, since they're like, a staple of indie rock or whatever. I have the day off from work (which is currently just Starbucks) and nothing in particular to do, so I might Get Things Done (calling my aunt, checking job listings on Craigslist, working on my resume more), but I also may just lie in bed and listen to melancholy music in the attic and drinking tea. We'll see.
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